OhEyeC... Oh I See... Oh I Understand...

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 05:13:09 GMT

So I guess its been about... forever. I would be embarrassed if i wasn't "impaired" enough not to care. I'm about to be painfully honest. and ask what this really means to the absolutely no one who reads this anymore.

So tonight started out with a 40 oz margarita at El Rincon. 40 oz. all me. then everyone but Wallace and I went home. and Me and Wallace, who don't usually get along, went to the Jupiter for FREE beer. Don't judge me.

Anyway I'm buying citizen cope tickets at the bar and none other than Kevin... the old Kevin appears opposite the bar from me.

I didn't feel that fluttery feeling, more like... I don't know almost dread. Then after I had purchased the tickets and obtained the free beer, I stood at the edge of the bar over looking the sitting area and the stage(where karaoke was taking place) I accidentally located Kevin. I couldn't help but look, just to see if he was maybe looking for me. I don't know what that would have meant to me. But the whole time I was doing all of this I was wishing Walker was there. Walker who I love and who is always good to me... well, mostly always(no one is perfect).

Now I'm playing Super Mario Bros. with him on my wii, but before I did that I looked Kevin up on facebook, and couldn't help but notice that he is losing weight and he shaved and he looks more like the Kevin I knew before... I know I'm being stupid, but seriously it has been 3 years since I saw Kevin... when I got that MIP. funnily enough this is my first night out in T-town legal.

Walker wants me to go on a mission trip with him in Honduras.

I'm afraid he thinks I'm something I'm not.

I started to fill out the application and he got excited that I wanted to do it with him.

I don't really want to, not that my dad can afford to send me right now...

Like I said at the beginning I haven't done this in ages... but I felt like I needed to tonight... I felt like I was back in high school... how old am I now? Just 21... to old for this HS shit. I wish he went to a different school.

~Elle (right?)

Nah

~Me.

I met a boy... :-)

Fri, 13 Oct 2006 16:52:14 GMT

So... after freaking out a bit last week... I'm good again. And I'm not Bipolar :-P Marj came in town earlier this week and we hung out I miss her thats like the first time I'd seen marj since... last christmas probably. Sad. But anyways I met her boyfriend and all his friends, and I've been hanging ou with all of them all week. And it's exactly what I needed, a new group. seperate from my roomates. AND I'm going to see widespread tomorrow :-D

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 23:34:16 GMT

You know those days when you feel like there’s a hole in you chest, and you’re doing your best to keep everything from falling out, but there’s only so much you can hold in if there’s a gaping hole in your chest. I called my mom at 4 this morning. I’m sure I scared her to death, but my innards were oozing out and I didn’t want to be alone.

Sat, 28 Jan 2006 20:03:38 GMT

Ever Since I came to College I'm a bitch... Wasn't I a bitch before then?...Or did you forget?

Tue, 17 Jan 2006 06:21:34 GMT


	Dear Cupid, This year, I've had my ups and downs in the love department.
_lindsay_ stood outside my window and blasted 'shock the monkey' on a boombox. Stephen_the_one gave me a flower but told me 'don’t feel too good, it was free'. Marchingant4 got me drunk so that they could convince me to do my karaoke version of I’ve Had the Time of My Life from Dirty Dancing.
So, as you can see, it's been a hectic year. Can you please make Stephen_the_one fall in love with me this Valentine's day? Sincerely, oheyec

Take this Quiz at QuizGalaxy.com
( or, take the 'adult' version at QuizUniverse.com )

Tue, 10 Jan 2006 05:40:44 GMT

So I'm back in Tuscaloosa.

I'm feeling optimistic about this semester.

Kinda scared too though.

I LOVE having my own room, it is amazing!

CALL MEE!!

Mon, 02 Jan 2006 06:45:15 GMT

I read some books yesterday and the day before... six actually. It was a little series about a girl who could talk to dead people... kind of odd, but I loved it as I love all of meg cabot's books.

anyway... it tied up so nicely at the end no loose ends, everything fit together so perfectly and could have worked in real life you know...

I haven't read anything like that in so long, everything i read these days is a series with no forseable end, or a book that leaves you needing somthing more, the story wasn't finished, or just not finished completely... and sometimes those are GREAT the ones you read and its refreshing, cause its real life, nothing is really tidy in real life. there are loose ends everywhere.

Idk this doesnt really have a point.

The book made me cry cause it ended perfectly, and I hadn't seen how it could have.

Like I said no point.

anyway, I cried today, cause I'm just so overwhelemed, with praying that everything is going to work out with school, with trying to keep people from being at each others throats, Marino makes me want to shoot myself because of how he and stephen react to each other. I just want everyone to be friends. I know its hard. I try my best to defuse situations. I'm just tired. Tired of trying to live up and failing. Tired of not being perfect. Tired of difusing situations. Tired of taking sides. I'm just fucking tired. And that why I cried.

At any rate. I'm going to go to sleep. sadly the bama game is early so I wont get to sleep in. not that I seem capable of sleeping in lately anyway.

Wed, 21 Dec 2005 00:57:52 GMT

I hate Tuscaloosa.

I hate Blount.

I hate Alabama.

I hate sororities.

I hate pretending.

I hate crying,

and I hate myself.

Hehehehe

Thu, 08 Dec 2005 23:26:17 GMT

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last Wednesday I gave jades_my_hero a kidney (1000 points). In June ___sicklove and I donated clothes to the needy (11 points). Last Thursday I pulled over and changed littlebighead27's flat tire (15 points). In November I pulled stephen_the_one's hair (-5 points).

Overall, I've been nice (1021 points). For Christmas I deserve a shiny red ball!

Sincerely,
oheyec

I said I wouldn't do this... but... well everyone else did so I had to join the party.

Mon, 14 Nov 2005 05:48:18 GMT

24 questions you may not think to ask.

1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at?
My eyes

2. How much cash do you have on you?
None at all

3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"?
FAIL

4. Favorite plant?
I like blue flowers, and roses.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
Stephen

6. What is your main ring tone on your phone?
Birdhouse In Your Soul - They Might Be Giants

7. What shirt are you wearing?
The pink shirt that I was going to wear to the bama game if the shirt I planned on wearing looked yellow.

8. Do you "label" yourself?
I can't really find one that fits.

9. Name brand of your shoes currently wearing?
I'm not currently wearig shoes... but the shoes that are on the floor beneath this chair are Vans.

10. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
Jay is super cool.

11. Do you know what an 8-track is?
yup.

12. What were you doing at 9pm last night?
Hanging out with everyone who came to play in t-town... and probably still moping.

13. What did your last text message say that you recieved on your cell?
"Me miss you"

14. Do you ever click on Pop-ups or banners?
No... that skrews up your computer.

15. What's a saying that you say a lot?
"no worries"

16. Who told you they loved you last?
Stephen

17. Last furry thing you touched?
Bun-bun

18. How many hours a week do you work?
Does school work count?

19. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
One

20. Favorite age you have been so far?
6... I liked being 6... or maybe 4, I looked really happy in the home movies.

21. Your worst enemy?
I don't really have one anymore.

22. What is your current desktop picture?:
Stephen and I.

23. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"They are god awful"(referring to the people on But Can They Sing)

24. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to erase all of your regrets, what would you choose?
Does erasing all of my regrets mean that I made all the right choices?... I don't know... I'd probably take the million bucks... I like my life right now, and with out the mistakes I've made it wouldn't be the same.

In the last 24 hours have you:
1. Had sex: no
2. Bought something: Nope... but I paid someone back.
3. Gotten sick: I'm getting over being sick... I think/hope.
4. Sang: probably
5. Been kissed: yup
6. Ate something: ...yeah...24 hours without eating... are you kidding?
7. Felt stupid: I do stupid things all the time... usually i don't realize till long after the fact.
8. Talked to an ex: aye
9. Missed someone: yup
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Last person who...
1. Slept/Layed in your bed with you: Stephen
3. Made you cry: well the last time I cried... it was because I was homesick... so I dont know if there is anyone to blame that on.
4. Went to the movies with? Stephen
5. You went to the mall with: Liz, Stephen, and Jay
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Have You Ever...
1. Said "I Love You" and meant it: yes
2. Got in a fight with your pet: I've been mad at them.. but they always look so cute... so it doesn't last long.
3. Been to New York: Sadly, no.
4. Been to Mexico: yeah
5. Been to Canada: No... i wish... I hear its pretty.
7. Been to Europe: Sad day... no
-------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Do you have a crush on someone: yes...luckily I'm dating him.
2. What book are you reading: Clash of Kings - George R. R. Martin
3. Worst feeling in the world: Being Homesick/ feeling unwanted
4. Future kids names: Minnie Bell, Timothy maybe.
5. Do you sleep with a stuffed animals: I did.. but somehow bunbun always ends up on the floor... and the floor is so far away from the bed that I just go to sleep with pillows usually.
6. What's under your bed: my drawers, and my laundry.
7. Favorite sports to watch: Football, but only college... I dont mind watching Basketball either.
8. Location: The dorm.
9. Piercing/Tattoos: Just my ears
10. Do you drink: Not usually.
11. What are you most worried about right now? School mainly..I kinda don't want to be here so I kinda find it hard to care sometimes.
12. Where do you want to get married? In a church... and not during the summer.
13. Who do you really hate: ...welll there is this one person... but theres really not much reason anymroe... so I'm getting over it.
14. Do you have a job: School.
15. Do you like being around people: eh... certain people yes... but people ingeneral.. not really.
16. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: Who hasn't?
17. Have you ever cried: aye, too often recently... I miss home.
18. Are you lonely right now: Right now I'm ok... I will be tomorrow.
19. Song that's stuck in your head: amaizingly theres not one.
20. Played strip poker: lol yeah.
22. Been drunk for more than 2 days straight: haha, nope... never really been drunk.
23. Done an all-nighter: yeah like 3 in the past week... I think I'm dying.
24. Been on radio/TV: yep... I was in a comercial once.
25. Been in a mosh-pit: yup at the AFI concert
26. Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?: yes lol jaylor :-P

Fri, 11 Nov 2005 11:20:18 GMT

I'm sorry I forgot to post this while ago.... but for those of you who care cassie posted more DV and the last chapter is forth coming... get excited... lol I'm not sure I'm ready for it to end.

any way besides that. I've been pulling alot of all nighters as of late... I am certainly not getting enough sleep.Sadly none of my all nighters were due to partying or anything fun at all... no I've been kept up by the monsterous amount of work I've had to do.

Sadly college hasn't grown on me... I still don't like it much at all. meh oh well.

So, I'm pretty much a failure.

Tue, 18 Oct 2005 13:55:52 GMT

I can't really think right now... all I know is that I can't seem to do anything right.

Sun, 09 Oct 2005 22:34:14 GMT

I'm soo homesick,it hurts and I cant even go home and see my family this weekend... cause they are going to Ole Miss. I miss home so bad... I don't really like college... I want my mom to be on my back about homework, i want her to come and wake me up way earlier than is necesary to go to school. I want to fight with amanda, and play with my dogs. And watch football with my dad. I hate watching the games with out him. I hate listening to the announcers cause it makes me think of saturdays sitting on the couch watching all the games with my dad. I miss watching desperate housewives and grey's anatomy with my mom, and her muting all the comercials to talk to me about somthing or another. usually some gossip. I miss my room, and my basement, and my kitchen, I miss having food all the time. I miss all of us being able to see eachother everyday.

I want to go back.

I miss home, really badly actually.

Thu, 06 Oct 2005 02:46:35 GMT

I don't get homesick... well aparently I do.

anyway I've spent all night writing a paper and listening to James Taylor...

"Sitting here all alone is bringing it on again, I'm gone again. Sitting here thinking of you is driving it home again.
This is a song for you...far away, far away."

ah... love, I love James Taylor he reminds me of home.

"I've seen fire and I've seen rain. I've seen sunny days and I thought they'd never end. I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend, but I always thought I'd see you again."

I'm tired of college. I want to go home. *whine*

I do get to go home tomorrow... but I want to go home for longer than a day.

~~ThereisnowherethatIcangotobealoneandjustcry.~~

I'll get over it.

Yet write, oh write me all...

Wed, 14 Sep 2005 23:25:35 GMT

I just looked through my entries and i havent actually posted in a really long time.

Here is what I have to say.

college is different... understatment.

And truthfully, so far i don't like it to much.

I feel pretty alone. On campus at least, and in the sorority. and I know its my own fault if i'd just talk to people it would be better.

but I'm afraid of being that girl, the girl that you say hey to when they talk to you but you tune them out cause you don't really care. the girl who thinks she's your friend but really you just want her to go away because she is annoying you.

I'm afraid of being that girl you were talking about marj.

I dont know whether that is dumb or not. but its what im afraid of, and its keeping me from making friends and meeting people and gnerally having a good time.

When i went to the game the past weekend me and Katie (my suite mate) went together. We ended up sitting behind these two guys both of whom were pretty nice. seemed cool. anyway we talked to them and watched the game. at the end of the game they both asked for Katie's number but neither of them bothered to ask for mine. And its not like oh i liked them and they dont like me *whine*.
Its a pride thing. I dont know it doesnt really matter... it just reinforced to me that my fear is justified. That was the point of the story.

And that is how I'm feeling right now.

Sun, 11 Sep 2005 16:51:06 GMT

I don't think i'm very good at this whole college thing... and that scares me.

tonight was a disaster.

Sun, 14 Aug 2005 06:16:44 GMT

It wasnt supposed to happen like this at all.

My head hurts from crying. and I still can't seem to stop. I'm not ready to go.

Sat, 13 Aug 2005 16:47:08 GMT

Last night I dreamt that all of the sorrorities cut me after ice water teas.... I'm kinda scared now.

Nobody wants to feel unwanted.

Sun, 24 Jul 2005 19:54:55 GMT

P.S. those dates below are wrong.

These are my nights out.

Monday the 25th, Friday the 29th, Saturday the 30th, and Wednesday the 3rd of August

I will NOT be out on wednesday the 27th

Sun, 17 Jul 2005 22:09:25 GMT

9:15 get on the internet... im not kidding. do it.

Wooo cruise!

Thu, 14 Jul 2005 21:46:53 GMT

So we set sail, and I bought an hour of internet time.

Woot. and right now we are doing nothing. we eat at 8. erm... I can't really think of anything to say, but call and leave me a voicmail so I can call you back with my phone card. yup yup ok thats all I got.

I'm Not Worthless. And I Don't Have Fleas.

Sun, 10 Jul 2005 05:16:35 GMT

So my butt hurts, and my knee. Maybe they will both be better tomorrow.

I wish it wouldnt rain.

and I wish there was somthing super fun to do when it rains, but alas i can think of nothing but watching movies, which is what we always do anyway. or playing pool. but the same goes for that. ah oh well if anyone thinks of somthing let me know.

P.S. if your power goes out tomorrow just come over here. we're going to have a party... yeah... I'll have power so yeah come on over.

Lets see... guntersville was super fun. I hurt my knee, but its ok now. No worries. I met Liz's cousins, they were cool and we hung out and talked and stuff. Oh and we bought one of those tabloid papers, hahaha it was amusing. Apparently the moon is going to explode in 6 months so watch out :P

Erm... I can't think of anything else, I'll try to be more entertaining next time.

Now that, thats done.

Sat, 02 Jul 2005 07:07:23 GMT

Idk.

saw episode 3 for the fourth time tonight, its still good, but 4 times in this time period is too much, for me atleast.

Dinner at kobe was fun... awkward, but amusing too. people are dumb, and they are fun to laugh at.
They are also tactless. *rolls eyes*

anyway. my ipod still doesnt work, i'm getting my dad to call the apple people tomorrow... er today.

Also, 10 year olds these days are perverts... they know to much, or too little, both. and they are bad.

and in closing, the chorus to the song I'm listening to.

I'll be that girl - and you would be right over
If I were a field, you would be in clover
If I were the sun, you would be in shadow
If I had a gun, there'd be no tomorrow

I should probably do somthing about this shouldn't I.

Thu, 30 Jun 2005 05:34:33 GMT

So I get my stiches out tomorrow... and I'm sure it will hurt, but as it stands now, I think they are what is hurting me, I want to take another loritab. but I don't think I should, I should just go to sleep and not think about my mouth throbbing.

War of the Worlds was good, it wasn't fantastic, and I don't really think I want to see it again... but it was good.

The Fall Out Boy song is stuck in my head right now, but thats ok because I like it.

I should probably go to sleep now, as I am really tired. but for some reason i keep putting off going upstairs. I'm not entirely sure why. Though I'm sure it has somthing to do with wanting to talk to people who aren't online, and waiting for them to get online, while knowing that they really wont since it is 1230 and if they arent online now then they probably wont be getting on at all, as nearly everyone is asleep now, as I should be. And of course I'm rambling, but i can't really help that, as I am talking around a subject that i really want some advice about but am not going to ask for, because that would require spelling it out, which would take way more time than i am willing to spend spelling it out, so I intend to talk/or type around it. and I'm sure most everyone has stopped reading by now which is all well and good since i'm sure i am being very boring, but the point of this post, i am afraid, was not to entertain you, though im not exactly sure what the point of it was, im sure when i started writing it, it had a point.

alright I'm done Rambling, and I supose that means I'm off to bed.

Bah... I don't know.

Thu, 23 Jun 2005 06:20:16 GMT

So life...

I get my shots for college tomorrow, but that wont be bad A. because I'm not afraid of shots, and B. because I have Will's PSP w00t!

However... I have to get my wisdom teeth pulled/removed on friday, as in Tomorrow, because it is now thursday. Ahg I'm scared.

In other news, Jay you were right about the whole Sadie/Murphy thing.

aaannnndddd Stephen is a poo-head, because he stole Murphy's love.